When it comes to babies, there are SO many decisions to be made. The question of whether or not to find out the gender of the baby is one of the biggest, but seems to be a very easy and clear choice for most people.
We knew we would find out the gender before the birth, but when faced with the option of waiting until 20 weeks or paying for a private ultrasound, I chose to do the private ultrasound. We unfortunately were not able to get the in depth genetic testing that would tell us the gender.
But it was only three more weeks of waiting. Why go ahead and spend the money to find out the gender?
Well, while we had planned to have this baby and I was happy about the prospect of the future, my mother-in-law kept mentioning to me that I just wasn’t excited. She bought cute giraffe (my favorite animal) themed items and I barely had a reaction.
There were a few reasons for this. Firstly, I felt like my baby didn’t have an identity. I struggled all the time with calling the baby “it.” I wanted something more concrete to think about than just a blob in my belly.
Even with the ultrasound photos, it wouldn’t feel real until we knew how to address our baby.
Secondly, being a NICU nurse has its downsides. Sure you get to help the most vulnerable people on the planet, but you also get to see some of the saddest situations.
I was afraid of having a preterm birth first and foremost. If I ended up not having a preterm birth, I was afraid that something would go wrong during the birth, or that there would still be something wrong when the baby was born that they couldn’t pick up with ultrasound or genetic testing.
The truth is, having a baby is a roll of the dice
and knowing the possibilities just makes the risk even more stressful. The anxiety was pretty crippling.
I felt like finding out the gender would finally help me get excited, rather than nervous, and take my mind off of all the bad things. Not to mention I could finally give my mother-in-law one more reason to buy all the things!
So we scheduled the ultrasound three weeks before we would have normally gotten it. & we’re proud to say that we have a beautiful baby BOY coming in December!